February 9, 2014 by kmwelden
I feel like the fact that I work 50 hours a week excuses me from all of my short comings. All of them. I use it as the rationalization for pretty much everything I do, from eating the third (fourth) piece of pizza to explaining why I don’t call home as often as I should. I realize that for most people working pretty much falls under the category of, “being a person,” but for me it’s like some huge burden that no one else could possibly understand. Alas, instead of blogging, I’ve been using my precious free time doing the following:
1. Convincing myself that putting kale in my smoothie means I’m a fully actualized adult. Did I mention this is at 6:30 am? In the morning? Before the sun comes up? With bananas and strawberries and chia seeds? When I’m on the way to work? At my job mentoring children? I mean if I’m drinking green smoothies– let’s be honest– the possibilities are endless. I also can’t seem to stop mentioning the fact that I’m drinking green smoothies now to almost everyone I talk to. I’m sure it’s very annoying.
2. Discovering the joys of trashy VH1 programming. I’ve made the transition from Bret Michael’s Rock of Love to it’s female-lead spin off series, Daisy of Love. It’s been a pretty fantastic time.
3. Mastering the crock pot. I’ve cooked two things. Two ingredients each. Andrew actually put the ingredients together before he left for work… so I guess this “mastering the crock pot” business was a lie. But the point is– you know how when you live in an apartment building there’s always that one apartment that makes the entire hallway smell fabulous (just had to actively restrain myself from making a really stupid crockpot-smell/ pot-smell pun– this is Colorado, after all), like they’re cooking something incredible for dinner? Y’all– two times this month– that’s been my apartment! Thank you, Campbell’s Slow Cooker Sauces! This all makes me feel way more pride than it logically should.
4. Re-reading my young adult favorites from the middle school library. Maybe they’re still just as good because they are true literary classics. Maybe they’re still just as good because I refuse to believe I have anything other than impeccable taste (even the 13-year-old version of me. Who also loved Dashboard Confessional.).
5. Pretending that I’m equipped to deal with the intense instability that is the middle school mind. I just don’t get it. I’m debating mandating that my future child skip ages 11-14. Just as a precautionary measure.
6. Actively pursuing my professional Candy Crush career. Level 323, you vex me so….
7. Writing letters. Committing mail fraud. Splurging on expensive greeting cards. The usual.
8. Awaiting (anxiously!) the arrival of my best friend’s first son. One of my best friends is expecting a baby very, very soon. In fact, as I was writing this blog I got a text that she’s on the way to the hospital (!!!!)…. I’m thinking the traffic on this page is low enough that it’s likely no one who isn’t supposed to know this yet finds out. But just in case, let’s keep this between us, okay? And to my beautiful friend– I’m sending all my positive vibes to you and Baby B! Auntie Kait loves you both, and I can’t wait to pinch your cheeks (both of you guys)!
9. Fulfilling my life’s ambition of seeing Aziz Ansari live. Before we went, I made Andrew promise me that if Aziz asked for my hand in marriage and I immediately accepted, he wouldn’t be upset. He consented. Unfortunately, Aziz didn’t see me in the second row from the back of the balcony. In all seriousness– I’ve never laughed so hard/ Aziz is the funniest person in the planet/ if you ever have a chance to see a show, you should.
10. Listening to entirely too much Ja Rule radio on Pandora. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. You’re welcome.