I’m funneling my life savings into video games, BYE.

Leave a comment

May 20, 2013 by kmwelden

My personality, in a word? Addictive.

I spend my life going through phases of obsession. I have cycles, lasting for a few weeks at a time, where I’ll play Free Cell on the computer every night until 3 AM. Where I’ll eat popcorn and Diet Pepsi twice a day. Where I’ll binge watch television shows until I’ve caught up on their entire ten-year run in the matter of a few days. My sister once told me, on the subject of addictions: “Kaitlyn, if you grew up in a small town, I know you’d be hooked on meth.” There’s nothing like family…

This week, I’ve found a new addiction: Candy Crush. Y’all, this shit is not a joke. I’ve literally spent 30 of the last 48 hours playing this game on my iPad. Hence the lack of blogging. For the past two days, I’ve been sitting in the same spot on the couch staring at the screen of the iPad, trying to crush little candies, while Andrew plays Assassin’s Creed beside me. Sometimes, we talk to each other.

Me (not looking up from the screen): “Babe, are you winning?”

Andrew: “Yes, I am just killing some evil redcoats even now. How’s Candy Crush? Are you Candy-crushin’ it?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Just Candy-crushin’ it.”

That’s right, “candy-crushin'” has now become a verb in our house. Normally, I would just chalk this obsession up to a phase I’m going through and just let myself go on a binge before my interest fizzles out. However, the problem here is that this is a game where you can buy more lives when you run out (you only get one life every 30 min… what the HELL is that about? Can a bitch get a premium version with unlimited lives?). Consequently, I’ve spent around twenty dollars over the past few days buying lives for an iPad game. I’m not sure what the stats are on people who spend money on apps, but I feel pretty embarrassed about this. I’ve even been lying about the amount of money I’ve spent on this game (Not thirty minutes ago I told Andrew, “Umm, I’m just going to buy another set of lives, but this is the last time I’m buying anything for the night.” Since then I’ve spent three dollars).

So I guess what I’m getting to is this PSA:

If you have extra time and money, buy Candy Crush (Wait, Kait, you may be thinking. Aren’t you broke? Aren’t you literally loafing around Myrtle Beach right now not contributing to society at all? Maybe you should take it easy on the purchasing of fake-game-lives. And what I have to say to that? Maybe you should mind your own business). Personally, I’ve never felt happier than I have these two days, just hunkered down and knocking candy out on my iPad screen. Except for the fact that it feels like my brain is melting from staring at screens.

If you have a job or you’re broke, save yourself the trouble. Better yet, this: download it and begin accruing lives, before you experience the addiction, and then by the time you start playing, you’ll have thousands of lives stockpiled. You’re welcome.

Happy crushing! Kait

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Dear Denver

I've been thinking so much about you...

Fatty McCupcakes

Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets

Problems With Infinity

Confessions of a Delusional Maniac

Essa On Everything

***Warning: Posts on this site may be factually incorrect, delusional, mean spirited...or all of the above

Erin Lyon

Writer, Lawyer, Connoisseur of Poor Decision-Making.

Fisticuffs and Shenanigans

It was all fun and games, until the fisticuffs and shenanigans... -Deutschmarc

thebaskination

Spawned by my trip to Iceland, this is a little window into how (and why) I do what I do

That's What She Read

Hear what She has to say about the latest books

we travel, some of us forever.

hard-wired for travel

City Year Denver

give a year. change the world.

Some Clever or Witty Title

I grew up riding the short bus and lived to tell the tale.

Taking the Lilongwe

wanderings in the warm heart of africa

Mesha D. Arant

Muscian. Artist. Photographer. Thinker. Christian. INFP.

Adventures in Denver and Beyond

Celebrating Denver, Colorado and the world beyond!

uprootfromoregon.com/

Curious Eater, Wholesome Cook

Queen of the Food Age

Exploring the world one bite at a time...

Mister G Kids

A daily comic about real stuff little kids say in school. By Matt Gajdoš

%d bloggers like this: