April 23, 2013 by kmwelden
Yesterday, a representative from the College had the audacity to call me when I was in the middle of my nap and ask for a donation. Maybe I’m naive to how this all works, but aren’t they supposed to wait until I at least graduate to start hitting me up for more money? I am still, technically, paying tuition. Let me rephrase: I pay to go to school here. Since I’m a full time student, I obviously don’t have a lucrative career going on for me. What money would you suggest I give you? What makes you think, my dear (almost) alma mater, that I have the funds to make a DONATION to your INSTITUTION. I don’t even donate enough money to causes I actually believe in: curing cancer, ending poverty, de-worming orphans, and even though I really, really, really wanted to do it for the $1-donation-and-up-only updates from Kristen Bell, I couldn’t even justify making a donation to the Veronica Mars Movie Kickstarter campaign.
And let’s just say, hypothetically, I did have the money to donate. PERHAPS I would be more inclined to give my institution some of it if when I tried to go to the “Seniors Only BBQ” a couple weeks ago, you weren’t ALL OUT OF FOOD. You weren’t even apologetic! The old man checking IDs at the gate almost looked happy when he told me about all the great food that used to be there. Not to be discouraged (or, more accurately, completely because we were discouraged), my friend and I proceeded to drink a bottle of Barefoot at an empty table, with only the company of a bunch of empty Chinet plates, taunting us with leftover morsels of mac and cheese and baked beans.
Maybe there will be a time, many years from now, when my alma mater will call me and ask for a donation. Perhaps I’ll be retired to a home on Cape Cod, gardening peonies; my aching back will make me wistful for my days as a youth in Charleston, and the memory of being scorned at the senior barbecue will have faded. Then, I will give back to my school, and give back generously.
Until then, I’m screening my calls.