April 9, 2013 by kmwelden
I’ve always found my mood to be connected to the weather. A lot of people say this, but I think when you are a beach person, this is especially true. Regardless, today was one of the prettiest days of the year to date, and even that wasn’t enough to lift my spirits.
I’m one month and two days away from graduating. That’s really cool (and terrifying). What is not cool, dear readers, is going to class when I should be at the beach. What is not cool is Planet Smoothie being out of strawberries. What is not cool is reading idiotic papers at my job in the writing lab and trying to find something kind to say about them. I could go on about all of the aspects about things that were not cool about today, and trust me, it would be long, whiny, boring, and petty. I can be the queen of complaints (Wow, Kait, what a great thing to be queen of! Your mother must be so proud).
Here’s the thing though. Happiness is a choice. It’s 7:30 now, and I’m deciding to be happy today. It has taken me nearly twelve hours to get here, but better late than never. Right? Right. Here are 22 things happy people do differently, which was posted from a blog I follow on this very opportune and grumpy day. Looking over this list now, it’s a wonder that I even get out of bed in the morning, much less manage a precariously-balanced happy life, because I am pretty much go against each of those rules. Every day. A lot. On purpose.
Some of my weaker points:
3. See problems as challenges. I tend to see problems as problems. I go into panic-mode at the very hint of one. I’m laid back normally (those of you who know me in real life are maybe raising your eyebrows at this assertion), but I get stressed the hell out when things aren’t going my way. Possibly because I’m lazy, I hate being challenged, and I would love to live an easy life. It’s probably why I think I’m destined to be a housewife (with both a cook and a maid, so essentially, I want to be a person in a house as a profession), but according to Fucarino, “the world ‘problem’ is not part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare.”
11. Avoid social comparison. One of the things I really struggle with is being my authentic self. I look at people on my social media feeds and (after stalking some to make myself feel better about my baby-free, debt-free, drama-free life) think, “Why can’t I have hair like that? Why can’t I have skin like that? Why can’t I be that smart? Why can’t I be that confident? Why can’t I ________…” But here’s the thing. This is the only person I’m ever going to be. This is how my face is always going to look (dog or zombie attack notwithstanding). The things I like to do are the things I like to do, and I don’t need to beat myself up about the fact that I would rather read in bed than go to the gym. I am on the fence about social media, because I really think it breeds this kind of unhealthy social comparison. Let me be clear, I love social media, but I do think it can deal a hit to your self esteem if you aren’t careful. I’ve read studies about it on the Internet, and since they can’t put stuff on the internet that isn’t true (duh), it’s definitely factual. Being inspired by people online is one thing, but being jealous of people online is another. Too often I fall into the latter.
13. Never seek approval from others. Okay, I thrive on compliments. More often than I care to admit, I text the ones I love and straight up ask for a compliment (“I need you to tell me something nice about me right now please”). There is no “fishing” for a compliment in my book- it is always a direct request. They always comply, because my support system is made up of saints, I’m convinced, but why do I need others to validate me as a person? Why do I look for strangers to validate me, also? Strangers don’t know one thing about me. Why can’t I just validate myself? I’m the one who has to live with being me, and while approval for others is nice, it shouldn’t be necessary for my self worth.
These are just three examples, but I need to work on essentially every point on that list (and I am just turning a blind eye to 17 & 18. Eat well and exercise? Lawd, that’s one of those damn
problems challenges I don’t like). I think we all do. Since there’s no such thing as being too happy, I would invite you all to take some time to build some habits of happiness.
I’m already planning an uninterrupted day at the pool tomorrow, so if the happiness gods are listening to me, SUNSHINE WOULD REALLY BE GREAT. Anyway, good luck in finding whatever it is that makes you happier.
PS: the title of this blog is adventures on adventures, so I guess I should start having more adventures that don’t include four hours of Real Housewives of Orange County, but if you want, I could totally blog about all of the housewives, too. I’ll work on the adventures thing. KW